Sunday, September 24, 2006


"Jab mein chotta baccha tha
Badi shararat karta tha
Meri shararat pakdi jaatiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Tab roshan hota tha Bajaj"
Well I'm quoting this jingle for 2 reasons:
1> to remind u of the beating that you used to get from your mom after getting a pasting from that smelly brat in your colony
2> to remind you of much simpler times...before the invasion of internet and cable tv in your life...when Ruffles and Mcdonald's were never heard of...when the "Goldspot factory" used to actually make "Goldspot"...when returning NRIs used to get cans of coke n fanta as gifts (cheap bastards) and when the coolest toy you owned was that stupid brick game.
So guys, I'm taking y'all on a trip down the memory lane as I try to recollect some of the stuff that we watched on TV (doordarshan who??) ate, drank n the cool toys we played I go...

Stuff Lost In Time 1 : The Giant Robot
Remember the giagantic papier mache guy??Probably the coolest superhero that we had when we grew up watching Doordarshan. This show was about a kickass dumb flying robot which was controlled by a Japanese kid called Johny Sokko.Certainly the best Japanese imports on the Indian television and can beat all the current detergent serials hands down as far as good entertainment is concerned.The story went something like this...there is this evil emperor who owns a robot which is hidden on some island. Our hero, Johny Sokko is a member of a super cool peace keeping orgarnisation called the UNICORN whose plane crashes one day on this island. Somehow he manages to get hold of this cool watch which doubles up as a voice command remote control thingy which controls the robot. Now since Sokko is the first dude to speak into that watch, the dumbass robot obeys him only. Now obviously the emperor is pissed off and in every episode he makes a new robot n sends it to destroy our Giant Robot. Now our kid Sokko has to make the Giant Robot kick the evil robot's ass by commanding the robot to move his limbs,punch, kick, use lasers coming out of his eyes, fire missiles from his fingers and other cool shit like that. Our Giant Robot doesn't have an iota of AI (remember Shakey the robot from AI sem 7 :P ??) and has to obey master Sokko and save himself and also the mankind.
The show lacked any sort of 3D animation and most of the fight scenes seemed to be cut-pasted from earlier episodes. The scenes in which the kids flew using their jet packs were shot by making the kids raise their hands in the air,move the camera horizontally and edit off their bodies below their torso. But watever, it was the coolest thing on TV...every evening 5:30-6 we used to take a break from cricket and watch the robot kick some evil ass. I remember being gutted the day they took it off the air...I also remember throwing a tantrum for a giant robot toy and asking my dad where the hell the remote was when he got me a small car which doubled up as a robot....Giant robot...YOU ROCK!!!

Stuff lost in time 2: He-man and the masters of the universe

The most beloved of the super hero community. This was a story about a certain prince Adam and his kingdom's fight against the evil lord Skeletor. Our prince Adam was blessed by the sorceress of castle Grayskull and was given a sword which gave him super powers. The other characters included his dad King Randor,his meek catlike thingy Cringor, Man-at-arms, Orko (whatever he/she/it was) and my favourite-Teela. Teela was probably our first introduction to a hot chick n was probably the hotting thing on Doordarshan...uh she might still be the hottest chick on Doordarshan. Anyway every episode had our quintessentially evil lord creating some problem and our super-hero drawing out his sword to become He Man. My favourite part was the metamorphosis of Adam to He Man and Cringor to Battle Cat. It went something like this...First our hero would take out the sword and raise it high...then suddenly out of nowhere you would see a castle...then the background music would start..."Ta tata tatatatata tatatatata ta ta...HE MAN!!"...then Adam would scream,"I HAVE THE POWERS!!!" and then he would get converted into He Man and all the ass kicking would start. Every episode ended with one of the characters analyzing the episode n teaching the kids about the lessons to be learnt.

Stuff lost in time 3: Fusen gum

Absolutely the tastiest bubble gum of them was so freaking soft. Imagine someone swapping Alex Ferguson's Spearmint with Fusen Gum...the guy would totally lose it. Picture Fergie calling up Rooney for some instructions..."Roon i want you to chase down the defen....umm fuck!! this chewing gum is so soft...fuck the freakin try this gum" (btw Liverpool rocks..."You'll Never Walk Alone" :P) was that soft.All kids I knew learnt to blow a bubble with Fusen because it was so soft that it would easily slide over the tongue. The best part was that it came with a tattoo. It was damn simple to use...all you had to do was apply water to your hand and stick the tattoo on it besides having a non hairy hand. I tried really hard but never got the pink and blue tattoo right. Anyway, wat else do you expect from a 1 Re. gum??

Stuff lost in time 4: Pepsi cola
Well not exactly a cocktail of two soft drinks. This was a cheap orange juice which was frozen and packaged in slim plastic bags.All you had to do was make a small hole in the bag and suck on it. It was very yummy and also the root cause of intestinal diseases in kids. My adventures with pepsi cola ended the day my mom was convinced that my jaundice and other tummy problems not worth mentioning had originated from this small seemingly harmless drink.

Stuff lost in time 5: Peppy
If you can't eat just one pack of Ruffles then probably you wouldn't stop eating Peppy. This was a tomato flavoured wheel like stuff which you could really savour. I mean you could try eating the outer ring and show off a star of the remaining sticks, or you could put one in your mouth n roll it on your tongue...never had so much fun eating chips (gee...i love my food, don't I??)

Stuff lost in time 6: The VCR
Acronym for Video Cassette Recorder. It can now be found in some pre-historic display section in museums. Owning a VCR made you the coolest kid around simply because then it was assumed by other kids that you had an awesome collection of Tom & Jerry and Droopy. It was owning an X Box 360. The most annoying part of this device was its stupid head which required constant cleaning else your video would have some annoying distortions. I still have a couple of Tom and Jerry tapes. If any noble soul can lend me a VCR please mail me

Well I could go on and on about more stuff from the past but I guess my purpose here is served.I'll let Orko give the finishing touches.
"Well kids, today we saw how Abhi gets high after a quart of Old Monk.Neway,what he wanted to do was to remind you of the days when having fun was not about clubbing or owning an I-Pod or spending hours chatting on cell phones or the internet. There was a lot of fun in the simplest of things that we saw and did. Its always something special to go down that memory lane....Till next time....Adios!!"

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Neo's dream

Dark have been my dreams these days
I see you falling
Wanna jump off with you...somebody push me into this abyss
Am too scared of drowning

I try to reach you...
But you keep falling further
"Trin!! grab my hand",I scream
"Without you i can't live much longer"

I see reach out
Your fingers touch mine...
I see you smile...makes me wanna live
"I'll save us Trin...we'll be fine"

Your fingers slip away...Damn Smith grabs me up
"Triiiiiiinnnnn!!!", I scream as you let go
I see you hit rock're motionless
I fight this elevation....time never felt so slow

The frame breaks...I wake up screaming
I find myself in your arms
Dark have been my dreams ...scary have been my thoughts
But with you by my side...i'll ride though all the storms

Friday, September 22, 2006

If only ...

If only you could read my mind
You would see the pain inside...
If only I could give you my heart
You would hear it beat for you
Only one else but you

And if only you could have my senses
You'd feel your sweet scent linger in my every breath
You'd hear you laugh away all my fears
You would see your lovely smile ...your sweet baby face
You'd see my world full of love for love only for you

And if only I could change your mind
And if only you'd say you were mine
& Take these thorns off my heart
& Wrap it with a tourniquet of your love
Your love ... all I ask for is your love

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Legends live forever

"Image is everything", he said. Little did Andre Agassi know back then that all the fame,all the spotlight... all that he had earned in a short span would be his greatest enemy, that he would drop from being the no 1 in the world to a lowly 140. Wat he also didnt know was that he would make the mother of all comebacks and would retire to a standing ovation by 50000 odd fans at the Flushing Meadows. His last match was an emotional one. As he waited on the baseline ready to face the last serve of his career, the emotions started building up. The thought that this is it...this is the end started sinking in and tears rolled down his cheeks.The crowd cheered their gladiator for one last time.So did millions at home watching TV. His return hit the net and it was all over. An era ended.

Well he did it all...the only player to win all grand slams something which his greatest nemesis and one of the best in the world Pistol Pete couldnt. Oh yeah n he has an Olympic gold to add to that as well. Something which no other tennis player has done. And he did all that with style. People will remember him for his awesome backhand returns, his terrific groundstrokes from the baseline and his ever changing look. From the rockstar look and the brat attitude to the days of the goatee and finally to his matured 30's look, Andre always made a style statement. Oh ya and he married one of the hottest movie stars n one of the most beautiful tennis players. How many men can claim to do all that?

My best memories of Andre are the duels that he had with Pete Sampras. Sampras-Agassi matches were always fans would never miss their clashes. A hard hitting baseliner against a serve and volley specialists. Sampras's awesome serves and Agassi's precise returns brought out the best that tennis had to offer. Those gruelling five setters were a treat for any tennis lover and in the end it didnt matter who won cos it was hard to choose a favourite between the two. Their rivalry cannot be bettered.

Andre Agassi is an icon. Tennis has moved into its Federer-Nadal-Roddick era but coaches across the world tell the little kids aspring to be huge stars to "Hit it like Andre!"...i guess Legends live forever.